16 Ways to Break a Heart by Lauren Strasnick

Author:Lauren Strasnick
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-05-20T04:00:00+00:00

10

THE DESERT, MAY 12, 2017, FRIDAY, 3:25 P.M.

Hey,

So I’m in Joshua Tree at my parents’ cabin, where you and I spent our one and only weekend away together. Remember the fun we had here? Guzzling wine by the fire pit? Screwing against cold adobe walls? Watching tumbleweeds somersault across dusty, barren landscapes? It was the best, Dan—the freezing nights and blazing days, the 24-7 lovefest. It was the best until—you guessed it—it was the absolute worst.

“Aya-what?”

“Ayahuasca,” I said, stretching the word this time. We were camped out on the scratchy turquoise rug, late-day sun hitting us sideways while we ate from a crate of clementines. “My mother hosts these druggie ceremonies where she and her friends drink ayahuasca in the tepee out back and then hallucinate for hours while this shaman leads them all to spiritual enlightenment.”

“You’re messing with me.”

“Hand to God I’m not.”

You ate an orange slice then leaned in for a citrus-scented kiss. “Are we going out later? Pappy and Harriet’s, maybe?”

“Yes, please!” I’d been waiting years to take a date to my favorite desert saloon. “I brought the perfect dress for the occasion. Wanna see?”

Your cell dinged. I grabbed the phone and scanned the text preview. “It’s Ruby,” I said, deflating. “‘SOS.’”

“Her mom’s having thyroid surgery and she’s freaking out,” you said, dialing back already. “Put the dress on, okay?” You headed outside to the deck. “I’ll only be one sec.”

You took twelve minutes, I counted. I watched you through the sliding glass doors; watched you be the good guy that you are; watched your face pucker and contort in familiar ways. You were just being you, of course—inquisitive, caring, attentive—only now you were being you with HER.

“She okay?” I asked afterward, even though I couldn’t have cared less if she was okay. I was standing barefoot on the scratchy rug in my spaghetti strap dress, dying for you to see me.

“You look phenomenal,” you said regretfully, sans smile. Your lips were hard and horizontal and—“Nat.”

I shook my head and shook my head but—

“Nat, I’m so sorry. Her mom had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and now she’s on machines and shit and Ruby’s losing her mind and—”

“Is she dying?”

“No! No, she’s okay, but she’s all screwed up on drugs and babbling and—”

“Then you’re not leaving.”

“I have to.”

“No you don’t. We can go back early tomorrow, but—” I grabbed the car keys off the dining room table and clutched them tightly. “Pappy and Harriet’s, remember?”

“She’s hysterical.”

“So what?”

“So WHAT?” Your face went all flat like a deflated balloon.

“Yeah, she’s gonna live, right? So what’s the rush?”

Now you were pissed, your tiny eyes shrinking and shining. “What if it were your mom, huh?”

“If it were my mom, that’d be different,” I said. “But it’s not my mom, Dan, it’s Ruby’s, and she’s not your girlfriend.”

“I’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than I’ve known you. That’s gotta count for something.”

Well you might as well have slapped me.

“Fuck off,” I said, throwing the keys on the floor then beelining for the bedroom.

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